“I find it terribly lonely being ‘Sinéad O’Connor’ in Ireland,” she wrote in a recent blog. “I’m 45 yrs of age. All my life I have been beaten up for being me, and beating myself up for being me. And causin a whole lot of fuckin trouble. An feeling like im a total piece of worthless shit and good for nothing but fucking everything up.”
Right now Sinead is struggling to make sense of who she is. Her feelings about herself have been compromised. But, perhaps from this feeling of desperation, a personal resurrection can occur.
A personal resurrection, that enables Sinead to understand the purpose and meaning of the life of Sinead O’Connor.
This Irish artist has always strove to find her unique voice. But in so doing, has attracted an abundance of jealousy and criticism to herself, as well as a large following. It is as if she has taken on the ghost of Ireland’s past, and it won’t forgive her for it. Thus the pain she has experienced, is not her pain as such, but Ireland’s pain.
That doesn’t make it any easier to bear. But it must be taken into account, when engaged in a self-assessment. And in this, it’s critical that Sinead doesn’t position herself as a victim. For the victim psychology leaves you emotionally vulnerable to more pain.
A victim psychology is founded on a sense of injustice. That somehow, circumstances are conspiring against you. And that’s how it may feel and appear. But this psychology can keep you locked into an emotional state, that prevents you from being able to break free. As if the victim psychology reinforces your world view that life is unfair and unjust.
Each person has a unique combination of character, expression and qualities that is the promise, purpose and potential for their life. This can quickly become compromised by the challenges that living in the world holds. But the potential and possibility remains the same.
If Sinead O’Connor can re-connect to this internal line of potential, then her best work may be yet to come. From an artist who has found finally found peace with her self.